Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Soul Searching

In the last few days, I've been realizing how lonely I am. Now don't get me wrong...my husband, kids, family are great. We check up on each other almost daily. But after spending the weekend with my best friend of over 15 years who now lives out of state, I realized (or maybe just let myself admit) that I'm one lonely girl. There's something to be said for a friend who you can say anything to, about anything and understands...even if what you say really sounds bad. She gets it...can almost read your mind. I miss that.

I've been finding disappointment in alot of areas of my life and it's hard to come to grips with. When you take a step back and look at the goings on and find that things have gotten out of control, out of perspective and no where near where they should be, it can be hard to take. I've found myself longing for quiet to reflect and to find rest for my brain and my soul.

There are still many things that I need to come to decisions about. But one thing I've decided...I'm tired of brushing my loneliness under the carpet. I'm tired of telling myself to "suck it up". I'm tired of putting on the face of "everything is fine". I am not an island. I cannot do this "Mommy thing" by myself. I can't be the Mommy I need to be without having the soulful rest I'm in desperate need of.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful honesty. You will be rewarded for that, I'm sure.
Lots of love!
bro

shasha said...

I'm not a girlfriend but I am a girl and I'm more than a friend so maybe we can hang out and play . Watcha say???